A dear client of ours recently wrote and posted the following letter on her personal blog. We asked her for her permission to share it here. We always love to hear from our clients.
Open Letter to My Midwives (The Midwives of New Jersey)
Thank you for helping us through the birth of our daughter Lucy. Even though things got messy when I had the uterine hemorrhage, my birth experience was so much better than the experience I had with an OB. To have you by my side throughout the whole process in the hospital was comforting and reassuring, I felt confident that I could do it and when it came time to push, I felt strong. You were with me throughout the majority of my 12 hour labor, supporting and helping, and making me feel calm. My OB was there for the last 15 minutes of my first birth, and basically came into the room after not seeing me for my 24 hour labor and had to make a decision whether to give me a C-section or Forceps delivery after not having monitored or checked on me the entire time I was in the hospital. The biggest difference I can tell between my first birth and second, is that with you- I felt empowered and in control. The room was dimly lit, I had only a few people in the room guiding me, I followed my instincts when I felt contractions even though I had an epidural, and I felt good about the experience- I wasn’t scared. With my first birth, I had a room full of noisy people that didn’t need to be there, all shouting at me when to push, nobody would listen to me, nobody could hear me say anything, and I felt like I had absolutely no control. I forever have the image burned into my mind of an intern placing forceps while the doctor yelled at her that she was doing it wrong, and how badly I wanted to scream at them. I felt butchered. I thought I would never have another baby due to the depression, difficulty attaching to my baby and pain I had healing.
I am so grateful to know that a calm birth DOES exist and can be possible. Not calm in the sense that I was quiet- oh no, I was screaming and had dire shooting pain in my right leg, but it was calm in the sense that I felt like I was in control. My attachment to Lucy is incredible, and my feelings for Penny have gotten stronger as I have healed from my first birth experience. I appreciated how hard you worked so that I could breastfeed Lucy when they took her away to monitor her blood sugar and I so badly wanted to nurse her. At the nursery, they said “Here comes the crazy train,” but you were there for me, you were my ‘crazy train’ advocating for my baby to have the best possible start in life (bottle free).
I will be forever grateful for your support, and for making my birth experience positive. The photos you took capture all of the good moments, you did a beautiful job (they look so professional!) and I am so glad we have them. I look back at the birth and don’t think about the shooting leg pain or blood transfusion, I think about how powerful I felt, and how beautiful it all was.
I want to thank you for that. I know that if I had another scary birth like my first, where I felt out of control, where my OB wasn’t present, and where God forbid I had another episiotomy..I might never emotionally recover. This was my second chance, and it changed my outlook on childbirth forever.
Thank you
Why A Woman’s Voice in Birth Matters
Just shared this post on Facebook with my own comment:
“So true! I can’t imagine having a baby any other way! I don’t know if I would have been able to birth my two girls drug free without the help of the Midwives of New Jersey! From your very first appointment with them you feel the love and you know that they are there for you every step of the way. They help you realize that childbirth is a natural thing and you are capable of doing it naturally! I am a huge wuss when it comes to pain, but I knew I wanted to have my babies with as few interventions as possible… I didn’t know if I could do it, but I knew I wanted to try. With the help of the midwives I felt empowered and in control and I was able to have both my girls drug free. I labored with both of them in the water and although I encountered minor difficulties that made me deliver in the bed rather than the tub, I still felt like I had beautiful deliveries and look back on them as wonderful experiences. Sure, it hurt like hell and they were the hardest, most challenging, days of my life, but I did it and if it weren’t for the midwives I don’t know if I would have had such amazing birth experiences. Just one month ago I was sitting on my couch, 41 weeks pregnant and wondering when that baby was going to come…. and the very next day I was sitting in the same spot nursing my baby girl. In and out of the hospital to have a baby in one day without even an IV in my arm… that is awesome (coming from someone who is terrified of needles)! Thank you to the Midwives of New Jersey – especially Cindy – for helping me to have my babies in such a normal, natural, and beautiful way!”
Thank you Sarah for sharing your story! It is stories like yours that help encourage other women and normalize birth! Enjoy your babies!
Wow, what an amazing perspective on this story! As I read the lines, I relived each scene of this triumphant experience. I am also honored to have witnessed your undying strength through the calm birth. You were resilient! I am in awe of the power of a birthing woman, and you embodied that power completely!