A New Perspective

As I sit here on this Saturday morning, I have mixed feelings. Today is the day I have been anticipating since December. Today is the day I finally reach my goal. The goal I have been working hard towards for several months. I wanted to have a goal for me as a person, something not child related. Something my children could watch me work towards and see that I have my own personal goals, as well as my family goals. Getting up early to run, tone, energize several times a week has finally paid off. My children have watched me train and are eager to cheer me on as I cross the finish line. At 2:00 today, I am participating in my first race of any sort since my first child was born 5 years ago. I am running the New York/New Jersey Mudderella. A five-mile obstacle course in mud! I am pumped, excited and ready to run! At least that is what I pictured happening when I signed up for this in December. The truth is, I am tired. I have not slept a full night sleep in years. I find it so hard to fit in regular exercise. I have run only 6 times to train for this and have only made it 2.5 miles. My children forgot I was even running this Mudderella. It has become pushed in the back of my mind with everything else I am trying to fit into our busy lives. I am not prepared for this today at all! But still, I hear my kids eagerly packing their own bags of picnicking food, packing clean clothes to wear after they play in the mud, and making signs to cheer me on. This is what it is about. Even if it wasn’t what I had tried to plan, it is something they are supporting me in regardless. We are still going to this event as a family. They will watch me as I run and dive through tires into piles of mud. They will see that I am having fun. Even if I have to crawl over the finish line! And this Mother’s Day, I will forgive myself. I will forgive that I didn’t reach my goal and I will try again. I will not be hard on myself and show my kids my disappointment with myself. I will simply get up and face my challenge ahead of me this afternoon. I have realized over the last five years that as a mom, we need to have our own goals and take time for ourselves, but we also need to forgive. We do our best to juggle it all. We are doing just fine. We also need to make the best of it all, because our kids are always watching us, and in their eyes you will always be their number one winner! Note: As I finish this post my daughter comes in the room to ask “Mommy, who is going to be the first one in the race?” I look at her to tell her “I am sure I won’t be the winner today Honey. But, that is okay. I am going to have fun.” She smiles and says with a smile “That’s okay Mommy. Even if you are not the winner, we will still take you out for ice cream after!”