Midwives have an amazing role in our society. We are healthcare Providers whose role is to be both friend and professional. We walk through life with hundreds of women seeing value in every person’s life. Because we are willing to drop our guard and connect emotionally with our clients, they trust us with their secrets, their bodies, their babies and their insane pain in loss. We aren’t their mother and we aren’t their doctor. We are both.
Pregnancy isn’t always easy. Childbirth does not always go perfectly. Our children are a gift but not always for our lifetime. Today, October 15th, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, we remember the times when things go differently than expected. We see the beauty in these children’s short lives and we marvel at the beautiful women who were deemed strong enough to be the mothers to those who could only stay a moment.
Please read the beautiful story written by our client who recently lost her precious babe. We thank her for sharing with us.
October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, so it seems fitting to share our sad news today.
As most of you know, Joe & I were expecting to welcome a new baby this December. Though we’d chosen not to find out the sex, Olivia was convinced she was getting a “baby girl sister” and had even chosen a name for her, Anna.
However, a few weeks ago, the unimaginable happened. I went into sudden, unexpected premature labor. I woke up that Tuesday feeling fine. I had a routine ultrasound scheduled that morning that then snowballed into a very hectic afternoon ending in labor & delivery.
Unfortunately, the baby’s heart stopped while I was in labor and our baby girl, Anna, didn’t make it. She didn’t get to know the world, but I hope that she knew her family and felt nothing but warm and safe in the short time I carried her. We did get to hold her and see her before saying goodbye, for which I am grateful.
And I am grateful for so many things: for my “perfectly imperfect” little family of Joe & Olivia, for all of my family, friends, and colleagues who have been amazing these past few weeks, for my doctor who said (and did) all the right things to make a difficult process as easy and smooth as it could possibly be, and for so many strangers who turned their own similar experiences into small actions that touched us in ways they will never know.
As Kazuo Ishiguro said, “There is another life that I might have had, but I am having this one.” As I stand outside Olivia’s dance class watching her bounce around with the other little girls in tutus, I’m reminded that all in all, it’s a pretty good one. And to all the other parents who’ve lost their babies, I see you.